5 Ways You Might Sabotage Yourself From True Happiness
What is true happiness? And what does it require from you? Do you need to become a CEO or buy your dream car to be happy? Or have a million bucks in your bank account?
Happiness can be difficult to define because it’s subjective. In an article by Berkeley they quote researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky who describes happiness as: “The experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.”
But, where does it mention money, possessions or your job title? It actually doesn’t! Happiness is the feelings and emotions that are coming from within…
So, this means that there is only one person who can prevent you from true happiness. It’s a very powerful person who has all the capabilities and resources to hold you back from being truly happy.
And, what if I told you that you are that person…
Yes, that is correct! You are the only person who can prevent yourself from being fulfilled, content and experience true happiness. You might even be doing it right now! Let’s take a look at how you might be doing this.
5 ways you might sabotage yourself from true happiness
Before we start, I want to assure you that you are not alone in this. There are so many people out there that are going through the exact same thing as you read this. So, let’s see if we can figure out how you are sabotaging yourself.
1. You Decide To Be Happy When Certain Things Happens
Did you ever think to yourself, I will be happy when this happens to me? It might be when you get that boy or girlfriend? When you win the lottery? Or buy that thing you always dreamt of having?
It’s okay. You can be honest with yourself. No one will know what you are thinking right now.
And, don’t worry… It is probably very few of us that haven’t had these thoughts before. We can very easy to fall down into this rabbit hole. But sadly, it can become a habit that makes true happiness very hard to achieve.
This habit just keeps going on and on. Soon, our lives are about the desperate search for these things and the more we get, the more we need. It never ends! Unless we do something to change our mindset.
Think about how sad it is that we just keep waiting for everything to be perfect. We still have to work hard and fulfill all our duties in the meantime.
The good news is, that you don’t have to wait at all. Not anymore. You just have to stop looking in all the wrong places.
2. You Think That New Possessions Give You Happiness
When you walk down the street and see two cars waiting for the green light. One car costs $100,000 and the other car only costs $5,000. Do you believe that the person driving the expensive car is somehow more inferior to the other? And again, just be honest with yourself.
This is because is there is an unstated assumption in our culture that we are what we consume. For this reason, we have completely forgotten the distinction between value and price. We assume that if someone owns something that costs $500,000, then they are in a much better position and more worthy than people who can afford less.
Of course, we can agree that the person is in a better position. It takes a big income to afford something for $500,000. No argument there. But, the second assumption is dangerous and a problem. We should never assume that someone who can afford expensive things is more worthy, valuable, deserving of respect, or love.
And sadly, the distinction fades over time. Because when we only focus on the price, we are losing sight of the value. Thereby, we begin believing that our possessions make us worthy and by extension results in happiness.
Although a recent study shows that people can get a sense of happiness when they buy things, there is a big twist. It’s only if they but the right things. And, this depends on their personality. So, buying expensive things is definitely not the path to happiness for everyone. That is definitely something to think about.
3. You Believe That True Happiness Happens to You
There is an old saying: “There are two types of people: people who make things happen, and people who sit around and ask what happened?”
Which one do you think you are? Well, if you believe that happiness just happens to you, then you are the last one. Which, no doubt, is a problem for you.
Happiness and fulfillment are choices, that don’t just happen. So, you need to make sure that it happens to you. You are the one that has to make the decisions.
Nobody is going to hand it to you. No one owes it to you. That’s not how it works. It comes from inside and is your choice alone.
As a matter of fact, a psychotherapist named Victor Frankel wrote a great book about how he found peace and meaning while he was in a concentration camp. Think about that for a second…
4. You Let Other People Define Your Happiness
It’s very easy to get influenced when we watch movies, see ads, read gossip columns or opinion articles. Not to mention, how people we admire or respect can affect our values. It might not feel like it but you can fast come to see the world through their eyes.
This even happens with our parents. Meanwhile, they have the best intention for us, others might not have the same goal. So, ultimately, they all define your happiness for you. This is a huge problem because you have to define it yourself. You are the only one who can feel what you feel and understand why. So, you need to make your own way in this world.
Thereby, we often end up living our life on autopilot without stopping up to realize this. So, we just live our life based on other’s expectations. Just going through the motions of life instead of living it on our terms.
When you realize this, it’s not a surprise that you are not filled with happiness. Or that you don’t feel fulfilled…
So, does it make you happy to study medicine as your parents wanted you to? Would it make you more happy to do something else? Maybe build wells in Africa or? Do you need the security of $100,000 in the bank or are you happier to work less and just live comfortably?
Pay attention to this pattern and select your own way through life. Don’t let other people make your choices for you. It’s your decision!
5. You Forget To Enjoy The Good Things in Your Life
We often forget to remember that most of us have a lot of great things in our life. It’s so easy to forget. This can become a bad habit if you aren’t careful. Maybe you don’t live in a mansion, but you do have a roof over your head. You can get food on the table without hunting and gathering. And, no one is breaking into your home to rob, rape or kill you.
Despite that, you still focus on all the things that are missing in your life. Maybe your house doesn’t have the extra 1000 sqft. Your car is 15 years old. Or you don’t have a membership to that club you want. Although this may be true, you are still focusing on the things that are missing. Especially when you feel that this is where your happiness will come from.
You have to understand how it works because it’s a choice. And only you can make it…
How to achieve true happiness
If any of these 5 statements are true for you, then you are sabotaging your own happiness. And it’s because you make the wrong choices for yourself and your life.
But, don’t worry. There is good news for you! It doesn’t have to be like that. You don’t have to make the same decisions every day that keeps you from achieving true happiness. There is something you can do about today.
All the answers you are looking for are already locked in your mind. Even though you don’t know it now. You just have to commit to unlocking them.
It doesn’t involve any drugs or religion. Nor does it cost a lot of money or take years of your life. Don’t worry!
The only thing it involves is your choice right now. The choice to take the spoon in the other hand and start listening to yourself.
You can do it by practicing meditation. And the best part, we have already made packed everything you need into a solution for you.